Hilah (Hi) Carter-Stead – Portland, Oregon Oregon

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When my boyfriend and I first met, we were living on opposite coasts and had to make do with long distance. We struggled, as many couples do, but I finally got a job much closer to him and we could drive to see each other. I stayed with him for a month while waiting to start my new job. He had only dated one other girl long-term (sign #1) so I asked a bunch of questions about her. He always got squirrelly when the topic came up (sign #2) and was constantly making up new timelines to explain their relationship. I got incredibly suspicious after one night when we were drinking and he reminisced out loud about how good it felt when they first had sex… um. Okay. I finally got him to admit that she and him had an on-again off-again sexting thing. Of course (ugh) this only happened when he was single. She, on the other hand, continued sexting him throughout her engagement and, yup, during her marriage as well. She”ended” it when she found a new fuck buddy to cheat on her husband with at work. Anyway, after he told me all of this, he told me how good it felt to”come clean.” I knew what he did was wrong, but I convinced myself it didn’t matter because he didn’t actually cheat on me… || Fast forward a couple months and I am visiting again. Yeah, I snooped on his phone when he was in the shower. I found texts from her from January (I scrolled to the beginning) before we started dating. As I was reading through he came out of the bathroom so I quickly put his phone back. If only I hadn’t given a fuck and continued to scroll through their messages… I would have found out about how they WERE sexting up to that very month. Throughout our relationship. || Unfortunately for me, I didn’t look through them. He moved in with me and our relationship was taking off – teasing each other about our wedding day, spending every minute together. Until he visited home & came back, which is when I found out he had tried to hook up with his fuck buddy while visiting home. She turned him down. Smart girl. So I still didn’t end it there. I am not a smart girl. I struggled to get past his attempted infidelity and eventually guilted him into admitting that he had cheated on me with Hilah up until a month before he moved in with me… || Guess what! I still didn’t break up with him. I did email her husband all of the gory details of her infidelity. He never responded. I guess he’s not too smart either. He and I struggled through it for a half year before he couldn’t take it anymore and left. I couldn’t get over it and he couldn’t deal with it. || It pains me to know that Hilah destroyed the foundation of our relationship (along with my ex, of course)…she’s still married to her idiot boyfriend, and I am left to kick myself for not leaving him sooner. The good news is that I’m an incredibly good catch with a markedly better future ahead of me, while she stays in a false marriage sitting at home looking for new men to give her the self confidence she obviously doesn’t have.

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